A while ago I felt something that I couldn’t place… Things were going well, a lot of people signed up for courses, classes filled easily, money was coming in, I was able to pay all the bills and to keep a good profit.
And all of that made me feel… Scared!
What?! Yes, I was very surprised myself too. I thought I was fully open to making money, being in the flow, doing what I love…. And then I found myself lying in bed worrying about the fact there was enough money in the bank and people enjoying what I love to do most… Crazy.
I started to figure out what exactly I was afraid of and came up with a whole list:
- What if people think I’m not as good as they thought I was
- What if they don’t like it (whatever it is)
- What if things will slow down after this point
- What if everybody will start complaining now
- What if they want more of my products…
Seriously, I went through it all.
Looking at this list in my head I could quickly see the craziness of it all, but it did make something clear to me… I wasn’t where I wanted to be yet.
The next day I had dinner with a friend and after a whole lot of listening she said… “It seems to me, you still have some trouble showing yourself fully and really owning what you have to offer the world. Why don’t you turn all your worried questions around and believe that the opposite of them is the truth?”
And then it hit me… And felt a *HELL YES*! That’s how I want to feel; inspirational, enthusiastic, being totally passionate about what I’m doing and not letting myself be stopped by outside factors or fears and own the fact that I my work is valuable…
So, I turned my fear questions around and they became:
- What if people will see how good I am
- What if they all like what I do
- What if things will keep going stronger and higher and better
- What if the amount of complaining stays just as it is (as things will never be totally perfect, and that’s totally OK too)
- What if they want even more of my products…
I’d feel so awesome!
I would reach more people, I’d be able to share and work more on what I love, help and inspire a lot more Ladypreneurs, guide more and more ladypreneurs on their way to clarity and success… How awesome if that!? And what a simple technique. Could this be true? Yes, of course! Feeling great doesn’t have to be difficult. It just needs some practice and some reminders.
It’s interesting how playing small can get to you and how big of a topic it is around female entrepreneurs. I hear this from a lot of Ladypreneurs…
- “I want to stop playing small.”
- “I want to take the space that I need and deserve”
- “I want to be able to fully express myself and to be me.”
- “I want to be as successful as I want to be, on my own terms. And not rely on other people’s opinions to create my reality”
The last one is super interesting because I’m convinced that success actually is something very personal. And to know what success is for you, you need to know how you want to feel in the best possible way. You have to be able to be bold and really look inside what it is that you want and desire.
You want to recognize when fears are all about what others might think of you. And to turn these fears around. Because yes, the opposite is equally true 😉 And to accept that not everybody will love you or buy your products, and that that’s no problem as long as there are people who do love you and buy from you…
Have you ever experienced success? Real succes… Success that makes you feel the best version of yourself? And not the best version of someone else or a success that is pulling you apart making you do stuff you don’t even want to do or making you being away from family and friends more than you actually desire? The one that is not just pretending you have it all, but where you’re really experiencing and being content with the way things are going.
With this I want to challenge you to define how you want to feel as the best version of you. And to take a second look at what success is for you. Maybe you’ve always wanted that big car or a large house because that is what we should want when we are successful, right?
But maybe that actually doesn’t resonate with how you want to feel anymore. Maybe feeling free doesn’t go with having a high mortgage on a large house.
Success can be anything. For some it’s having the business that they love and that generates enough money just to pay the bills. For others it is the possibility to work 3 days a week instead of 5 and therefore have more time for family and friends. And if you still want to have that big car and the large house because it makes to feel amazing, that is totally fine too!
It doesn’t matter what you define as success really. Try to connect success with how you want to feel. Does your definition of success give you the feelings you’re after? That’s the most important thing.
And to prevent playing small, be aware not to measure success to what others think is successful as success is mostly measured as a financial thing and that might not be your way to measure success. Also be aware not to be too careful in your desires for success. Don’t hold yourself back because you’re afraid that you’re asking too much or “because it will never be possible anyway”. Only by being honest and not stopping your own fears and thoughts you’ll be able to achieve what you really want.
Success is what you WANT it to be.